Workchoices... much closer to the truth!

WorkChoices

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“This is a f*cking great law I love it. I can sack any bastard that is not pulling thier weight and kiwis and poms”
~ Oscar Wilde on WorkChoices

WORKCHOICES is Australia's Prime Minster (John Howard's) plan to motivate workers.

Australian workers are known for taking weekends and leaves, joining unions and strikes, and a multitude of other totally unacceptable behaviours, which put tremendous pressure on the rich and corporate giants.

WorkChoices offer a series of choices to employees so that they will work as hard as their employers expect.

Contents

1 The Choices
2 Protected by Law
3 The Campaign
4 External Links

The Choices

As mentioned, WorkChoices introduce a series of choices to employees as means of motivation. These include:

1. the choice between work and family,
2. the choice between work and weekend barbies,
3. the choice of working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week,
4. the choice of having a shrinking minimum wage,
5. the choice of finding a new job after joining a strike,
6. the choice of being forced to sign an Australian Workplace Agreement (AWA),

and the extremely unappealing choice of voting Kim Beazley* to get the new legislations repealed.

*Fortunately, Australians no longer must face this unappealing choice, as Labor Party leader Kevin Rudd (b. 7331 BB) recently, during a party leadership challenge, accidentally devoured Beazley. There have also been rumours that his pet dog, Nibbles, had also been eaten, but these are as of yet unsubstantiated.

The new Australian Workplace Agreements, put forth by our current Prime Minister John Howard, give hard workers the opportunity to earn the money they deserve. Contracts are now able to be signed, and allow employers the opportunity to give more time to willing employees without paying overtime.

Under WorkChoices, the sovereignty of employers is completely and thoroughly protected. New powers granted include:

1. the power to force a new employee to sign a bulk AWA,
2. the power to force a new employee to give up all basic human rights,
3. the power to slience unions, and, ultimately,
4. the power to dismiss an employee at any given time.

The Campaign

It is crucial that all Australians are informed of their doomsday. Millions of WorkChoices brouchers with glossy cover have been printed and distributed nationwide to the benefit of printery owners. Hotlines have also been set up in order to educate employers in sacking employees with Workchoices, and, more importantly, to demostrate the strength of WorkChoices by sacking excessive hotline operators.

An over-600-page copy of the bill is available on the WorkChoices website for those who have too much time during their lunchbreaks - if they are ever going to have one again.

Recently the name 'workchoices' was banned, and the government now use the phrase 'oops, we fucked up there'.

They also have a 'fairness test', which means that workers may get a day off, but only if they are actually dead.

External Links
New IR laws increase choices except about wages, leave, hours, unfair dismissal and striking

source

I could say so much more but

I don't think I need add anything to that to make my point?

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