Headcolds suck.. badly

My head feels like crap. My brain is coated in 2 ft layers of cotton wool. So as a result, I do not feel like typing jack shit... Today is a good day to share a few of my favorite quotations with you instead?

Like you have a choice.. mwahahaha.

Over the years, I have discovered that some of what I consider to be the most honest /wise /nicest /funniest /incredibly stupid.. weirdest quotes to come from the most obscure sources - as you will see. You alone can determine which category they fall into.

There is no particular theme other than what appealed to me at the time I found/ heard them.. they are random but I guess they say something about me?

I have these, and a plethora more, stored on a word document - yeah I know, I'm weird.

Some definitely make me laugh, some are soooooo true, some make me think ... others horrify me.

Grab a cuppa and have a read.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
George W Bush


There's nothing funnier than the human animal.
Walt Disney

You pray for rain, you gotta deal with the mud too. That's a part of it.
Denzel Washington

Every time you open a Pandora's Box it's difficult to put the lid back on.
Sean Connery

Gay icons usually have some tragedy in their lives, but I've only had tragic haircuts and outfits.
Kylie Minogue

I mean, I don't think I'm alone when I look at the homeless person or the bum or the psychotic or the drunk or the drug addict or the criminal and see their baby pictures in my mind's eye. You don't think they were cute like every other baby?
Dustin Hoffman

Any time you've got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.
Michael Moore

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there.
Martin Luther

If there are no dogs in heaven, then I'm not going either.
Melly

I've come to understand that there's always something positive, even in a negative situation.
Leif Garrett

Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.
Napoleon Bonaparte

I really feel this is such a serious time for us all that being silent is not an option.
George Michael

Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up.
Jesse Jackson

There's less violence in the world when people are using Hula-Hoops
Mikey Way

Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.
Sammy Davis, Jr.

Iraq has lost 5 percent of its population, a number that in the U.S. would equal 14 million people.
Mick Jagger

Mel, you're so hardcore!
Simone

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
Ronald Reagan

Jason Akamanis, is that kejab manis' cousin?
Micaela

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.
Salvador Dali

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
Matt Groening

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.
George W Bush

How do you rewind this DVD?
You know who you are _ I won't out you on this one !

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
Mike Myers

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Robin Williams

It's really very simple, Governor. When people are hungry they die. So spare me your politics and tell me what you need and how you're going to get it to these people.
Bob Geldof

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy

That's awesome!
Dotti

If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.
Adolf Hitler

The thing I object to more than anything else is that we've got Australian foreign policy being determined by senior officials in Washington.
Peter Garrett

I think love has something to do with allowing a person you claim to love to enter a larger arena than the one you create for them.
Sting

You still with me? Have I lost you yet?
That's me seeing if your still reading, ya wallies.

The ultimate indignity is to be given a bedpan by a stranger who calls you by your first name.
Maggie Kuhn

An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.
Mohandas Gandhi

It often takes more courage to change one's opinion than to keep it.
Willy Brandt

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Winston Churchill

If you're gonna buy me a present, don't spend more than twenty five bucks.. you'll get a blowjob anyway.
Gerard Way

Wit is educated insolence.
Aristotle

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein

I burn everything and call it Cajun
Frank Iero

The people of the world genuinely want peace. Some day the leaders of the world are going to have to give in and give, it to them.
Dwight D. Eisenhower


If you made it through the whole lot, I applaud you.

That was only a selection, a very minor selection of what I have.

** did I hear the crowd scream for more??