Standing on the outside lookin in!

Well that’s about how I feel right now I must say.

I’ve been working hard at my job [which I love to bits!] normally 6 days a week.. Ok Ok so I exaggerate it's actually 5.5 days work & half a day of netball! Then coming home to be a mum and all the duties that go hand in hand with that - By the time I have gotten thru the majority of what I need to for the day, I fall, exhausted, into bed - get up in the morning & do it all again! And the beat goes on!

Never [ever] would I change the fact that I'm a mum, my children are my world and I love them beyond words, but it sure would be easier if I had more time at home. In saying that, I hugely enjoy my job too – I have a great boss - just the best ever, & we have the most delightful clients [Hmm...well ok..MOST of them..lol] Let's face it, if I don't work, we cant live like we do. Not rich, but with a safe roof over our heads I think we are doing just fine.

So with all my time taken up with truly important things – push came to shove and my allocated pc time lost out. My blog is sadly neglected – my myspace – well I logged in for the first time in over 6 months yesterday – sorry to those of you I have not returned messages to! Surely twice a year is enough to keep myspace up to date? No? Oh well.. too bad how sad.

The only reason I am able to post a small blog today, is that I’m home from work - sick. Some nasty bug going around – no, not swine flu.. just some nasty combination headache/stomach ache thingy that is lasting a lot longer than I expected. I had not had a sick day in umm must be 16 months.. but now this is day 3! I feel so bad for my boss, as it is only the two of us there... I feel like I have left him in the lurch. Then again, if I went to work & made him sick too.......argh best I stay at home. I just phoned him, he is very understanding. He told me that everything was running just fine - ha! He is such an awful liar! Assuming I get some sleep tonight, I will do my very best to be at work in the morning.

So, I’ve been in bed for the vast majority of the last 3 days, now here I sit at the pc, no makeup, my hair looks like I've been dragged thru a hedge backwards...I’m in my zebra print pj’s with a fluffy red blanket over my lap ... sexeh look eh? Lol My neighbour just came over to kindly bring milk & bread to the sick house – he started to enter thru the front door, took one look at me and froze on the spot! Who can blame him – I must look a hideous frightening sight. Best no one comes close to me right now anyway. Not without a mask and a plentiful amount of Glenn 20! I do have the most wonderful neighbours :) Thanks Guys.

Speaking of good people - friends, please excuse my rude absence from emails, blogs and the like – I am not deliberately ignoring anyone. I have just had an awful lot on my hands in the last 8 months. My true friends will understand this without further explanation – those that don’t , well.. once again, too bad how sad. I can’t change how people think and I’m past trying to please those in my life that don’t support & understand me - hence they truly don't count. Harsh? Maybe, but a necessary comment.

So, the standing on the outside looking in, aside from being lyrics from one of my fav bands is actually a reference to how life feels at the moment. My children are growing up so damn fast and teenagers these days face many different things to what I did... at least at the same age that I faced them. Being a parent these days is a scary place to be. Enough said.

Right now they are in the kitchen doing the dishes – Evanescence [October] playing loudly – but not as loudly as the laughter & fun digs they are having at each other. They make me laugh, they also make me very proud. They are good people. Both teenagers now [14 & 16], they have their own individual style. They have a wicked sense of humour [no idea where they got that from!] and they both do well at school. Enough about them for now, as they don’t like me saying too much about them – and they are constantly looking over my shoulder to see what I am saying – cheeky gits!

Now they have read that.. and they are crapping on like well, something akin to a comedy sitcom crossed with The Mighty Boosh. As I said, they are quite individual.. oh dear, now they are doing the ‘ni’ knights sketch from Monty Python..what have I created?? Laughter hurts my tummy right now... they know that yet they are crapping on even more. Lol – gotta love em.

My eternal love to those I care for, and you know who you are :)

Be well, talk soon

Joy